I’ve spent the better half of this week moping around my apartment in fucking agony thanks to a suddenly active wisdom tooth. Generally by my age they would have finished with this kind of bullshit but apparently mine are having some kind of late-onset tantrum so I’ve scheduled an appointment to get all four of them pulled out of my head next Thursday, along with taking care of some other dental work that I’ve been putting off thanks to my hypochondriac tendencies. Four of my back teeth are pretty bad from having braces for so long (towards the end of high school we moved for dad’s job and then I went away to college so I changed orthodontists several times and it fucked the whole process up) so for the longest time I’ve been assuming they’re completely ruined and I will need to get all of my teeth pulled out, and thus avoiding actually getting them looked at. Turns out they’re mostly fine, I just need a couple of fillings in them, so I’m doing all that plus a major deep clean in one hit while I’m already knocked the fuck out. It’s horribly expensive, but saves me from having to make multiple visits and I’m looking forward to my mouth feeling nice.
I was attempting to do ‘Sober September’, a thing I did last year and felt somewhat obligated to do again because I truly believe my stubborn commitment to a month of no alcohol was the only reason I didn’t attend the Route 91 festival where the Vegas shooting happened. Any time I do a sober month I’ll try to tell myself it’s for health but really I’m just trying to drop a few pounds. Right now that’s actually not something on my agenda so my motivation kind of slipped and once I was presented with the opportunity to attend my first ever college football tailgate, sobriety went out the window and I was pounding beers in a sea of orange at a UT frat house pondering how much of a massive hoe I would have been had I got to experience American college life as a 21 year old.
Tailgates have many things I enjoy rolled into one – day drinking, sports, the potential to meet cute boys who like day drinking and sports. I think tailgating at UT home games might be my new favourite activity for the next few months. Speaking of boys, I am finding it inexplicably difficult to meet guys in Austin. Everyone bitches about how hard dating is in LA and I moved to Texas with high hopes of things being “different” but lemme tell you, I’ve lived in multiple cities in two different countries and dating fucking sucks EVERYWHERE. Maybe I’m the common denominator and I’m doing something terribly wrong and just don’t know it, but I feel like a lot of people feel the same way as me. Who knows. I’m currently in the pessimistic phase of my emotional cycle: “I’ve given up on the hope of ever finding love so I might as well just find someone hot to have casual sex with” and that’s going poorly. My bar is honestly SO LOW right now (even my therapist said so) and somehow, guys are still managing to fuck it up. It is truly baffling.